I think I hate woman.

I hate how they move, how they look, how they sound.  I hate how they have breasts and I’m utterly attracted to them.  I hate physical infatuation.  I hate any sort of attraction that isn’t true love or motivated by true, godly love.

Give me strength and help.  I can’t do it without you.  You’ve showed me two needs in the last couple days.  First is I need to be ever watchful of my attitude and character.  Help me be considerate of other people ahead of myself and help me be that kind of person I tried to become this summer again.

Second need you revealed to me today is that you are who I’ve been searching for all along.  You’re my Jonathan.  You’re the companion I’ve been looking for so urgently since high school.  You’re the one who can become closer than a brother, closer than a lover, and I need to recognize that.  In this time of depression and lonelinees all I need is you.