The Opportunity Gap | Good.is/Hyperakt/University of Phoenix

Astrophysicist Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson is successful. He is the director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space, host of the PBS program NOVA scienceNOW, and a Research Associate in the Department of Astrophysics at the American Museum of Natural History. He is also black and, according to a study published in Science magazine, he’s part of an even larger minority than his race would suggest. The problem isn’t unique to the scientific community either as there is a lack of opportunity from the bottom to the top.

An in-depth analysis of the scientific grant data awarded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH) revealed Black scientists were 10 percent less likely to receive grant funding than their White counterparts even with the same qualifications, skills, and educational background. Why is that number so much lower? Is this overt racism in the scientific community? If it is or even if it isn’t, how do you increase the amount of Black scientists winning grant money?

According to NPR’s Morning Edition, psychiatrist William Lawson of Howard University has thought a lot about this very issue. He says it’s difficult enough for African-Americans to enter the field of science because “there are many barriers towards reaching that level.” More often than not, he says, “African-American who do get jobs in academia tend to focus on teaching and clinical practice, which they see as serving their communities, instead of research.”

This could be one reason Blacks are not getting the grant money but I think the disparity of opportunity extends much beyond the difficulties of African-Americans to get research grants. The problem begins much before that.

Good.is and Hyperakt in collaboration with the University of Phoenix put together an infographic called “The Opportunity Gap” which shows the disproportionate way opportunity is spread between Hispanic, Black and White peoples. White children are three times less likely to live in poverty and twice as likely to graduate college than their minority peers. How many people make it through a post-graduate degree when they have to work to feed their impoverished family?

Even for Blacks with a degree there is a gap in opportunity. Also speaking to NPR, Raynard Kington, former deputy director of the NIH, says there is plenty of research proving the general public has a bias toward names that sound “black” which, according to a report from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, doesn’t change even when the applicant has a college degree. The unemployment rate for African-Americans with college degrees is 8.4%, twice what it is for Whites at 4.4%. This ties directly to problems with opportunity.

While Tyson is a leading scientist and successful researcher, even he had a helping hand to get where he is. Son of a sociologist and gerontologist, Tyson had the opportunity to attend a high school which emphasized science learning. While applying to college, Tyson even received a call from Dr. Carl Sagan encouraging him in his passion to study the Universe. Who is lending a helping hand to those without that opportunity? What will bridge the gap?

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The Pittsburgh Steelers are having a hard time staying out of trouble.

Since quarterback Ben Roethlisburger’s off the field issue last year and running back Rashard Mendenhall’s statements about Osama Bin Laden and the World Trade Center attacks, the Steelers cannot avoid controversy.

Since losing Super Bowl XLV to the Green Bay Packers and the 100 plus days of the NFL lockout, the off season hasn’t been too kind to the organization either.

The Steelers star defensive end James Harrison found himself in the deep end with his comments in Men’s Journal about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and teammates Ben Roethlisburger and Rashard Mendenhall. After calling the commissioner a “crook” and a “devil” as well as an anti-gay slur, according to ESPN the four-time Pro Bowler issued a public apology.

“The interview that I did and the comments that I made about Roger Goodell were inappropriate, at the least,” Harrison said. “They were way out of line, and I was speaking out of anger and frustration at the time. Any comments that I made that offended anyone, I apologize.”

He’s not the only member of the Steel Curtain embroiled in controversy. Veteran wide receiver Hines Ward found himself in trouble with the law after being arrested for driving while under the influence earlier this month. According to ABC News, the reigning “Dancing With the Stars” champion felt “deeply saddened by this incident and apologizes to his fans and the Steelers organization for this distraction” Ward’s lawyer said.

Even without the DUI incident, Hines Ward is currently off the field recovering from thumb surgery and third string receiver Emmanuel Sanders will have a third procedure done to his feet since the end of last season.

The Steelers aren’t the only NFL team with player incidents this off season. Adam “Pacman” Jones of the Cincinnati Bengals was involved in an altercation at a Cincinnati bar that resulted in his arrest.

With the opening of training camp and the start of the NFL calendar year things have been quiet in Pittsburgh the past week, but the off season isn’t quite over yet and trouble has a way of finding the Steelers.

After years of doing business, the retail art shop that sells kitschy odds and ends as well as curates local, national and international art shows and concerts started receiving court summons and notice after notice from the City of St. Louis. The notices were for back taxes, improper trash disposal and, most recently, a letter disallowing “assemblies” in their multi-use basement for their lack of certificate of occupancy. Wolk expounds “‘Assemblies’ refers to the plethora of independent art exhibitions, musical performances and theater acts we’ve hosted since moving into the space”.

The “cease and desist” letter was the final straw, or in this case notice, that broke Cranky’s back. According to Wolk, “The individuals that illegally ‘assemble’ here represent 35% of our monthly income. An influx of funds that is seriously helpful; without which it will be difficult to meet our monthly expenses!” In light of that loss of income, on July 1st Wolk announced Cranky Yellow was closing its doors for an “indefinite amount of time”.

While a closed shop sounds like death for a retail space, there’s still a glimmer of hope for Wolk and Cranky Yellow. Fans of the shop, local musicians and artists are pledging overwhelming support both financially and emotionally. Even the mayor’s office has been supportive. According to press secretary Kara Bowlin for St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay “All they have to do is get a certificate of occupancy for their basement and then they can use the basement again”. Bowlin went on to add “We’re happy to help.”

The shops closing was posted on Cranky Yellow’s website and the comments section is filled with promises of support to help get the shop back up to code and in compliance with the city. We will see if the support will be enough fuel Wolk’s passion to overcome the roadblocks and reopen. That way he will not be bitter and jaded, just cranky.

Sources:
Benanti, D. (2011, March 16). Cranky Yellow, Cherokee Street Oddity Emporium, Tries to Fight City Hall.
Retrieved from

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2011/03/cranky_yellow_2847_cherokee_street_st_louis_city_hall_mayor_slay_website_hours.php

Wolk, D. (2011, March 3). Small Time Woes… Or Why St. Louis Independents Must Survive.
Retreived from

http://www.crankyyellow.com/2011/03/13/part-one-cranky-yellow/

Benanti, D. (2011, July 5). Cranky Yellow Closes Its Doors — For Now — After Receiving Another Notice from City Hall.
Retrieved from

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2011/07/cranky_yellow_closed_occupancy_mold_assemblies.php

Wolk, D. (2011, July 1). Cranky Stopped.
Retrieved from

http://www.crankyyellow.com/2011/07/01/cranky-stopped/?

What is it about Pittsburg Steelers linebacker James Harrison that gets us so worked up? The Super Bowl champion, Pro-Bowl player has been described as “dirty” to “a hired head-hunter”. Last year, the NFL fined Harrison over $100,000 for illegal hits and one week, after receiving two fines for two un-flagged, legals hits, Harrison threatened to retire. His threat was over what he felt was the “Steelers’ Rule” specifically harassing their physical style of play.

The line from disliking the way a man plays to outright hating his guts was crossed last week when Harrison called NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a “devil”, “a crook”, and an anti-gay slur. The ire raised around the media characterized Harrison as unwise to ostentatious and worse. It’s easy to criticize Harrison’s statements, but we’re really only upset because we think he’s a bully.

ESPN correspondent Ashley Fox said Harrison “looks like an idiot.” Another ESPN blogger Dan Graziano said “James Harrison is a fool, obviously, with an unjustified persecution complex and a seemingly insatiable need to convince himself and everyone else that the world is out to get him”. Even fellow NFL players are weighing in on the issue. Chicago Bears safety Chris Harris, who tweeted Wednesday morning: “Man James Harrison is a GOON!”

The vitriol poured onto James Harrison seems out of place compared to ill-advised statements made by other athletes recently. During the 2011 NBA playoffs, Los Angeles Lakers star shooting guard Kobe Bryant was caught on camera shouting an anti-gay slur at one of the referees. Bryant later issued an statement apologizing and was issued a substantial fine of $100,000 by the NBA. Was the public disdain for Bryant lessoned because he isn’t considered a “dirty” player?

What of Harrison’s fellow teammate Rashard Mendenhall? After Osama Bin Laden was killed, Mendenhall responded to the surge of athletes expressing their happiness of his death with the tweet “What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side…” Mendenhall also went on to say controversial things about not knowing exactly what happened to the World Trade Center towers.

The media and public outcry was substantial but mostly accused Mendenhall of being ignorant and insensitive to those who lost people in the attacks. There weren’t any poles asking whether you “like” or “don’t like” Rashard Mendenhall on ESPN like there is for James Harrison. Is this because Mendenhall just receives hits rather than leveling them?

While James Harrison’s comments were obviously over the line, most people just want to criticize him without really understanding the man. In the Men’s Journal piece, the author, Paul Solotaroff, also talks about Harrison’s childhood problems. Harrison was the youngest of 14 kids. His mother raised him with “love and sternness” and taught him to “always come out swinging if someone bigger pushes you around.”

This attitude, not to step back from a fight from someone bigger, may be why 2010 was one of the best years of James Harrison’s career even with all the fines, dislike from fans, players and the media. It’s what motivates him to succeed. It’s why he hits like he does. And while he may not be the only athlete to say stupid things in the future, the big ole’ bully will surely be the most hated.

Arrington, M. (2008, August 5). The viral video guy gets $1 million in funding. Message posted to http://www.techcrunch.com
Solotaroff, P. (2011, July 13). James Harrison: Confessions of an NFL Hitman. Retrieved from

http://www.mensjournal.com/jamesharrison

Graziano, D. (2011, July 13). Harrison Shows Plaxico Lessons Not Learned. Retrieved from

http://espn.go.com/blog/nflnation/post/_/id/41583/harrison-shows-plaxico-lessons-not-learned

Harris, C. (2011, July 13). Man James Harrison is a GOON! Twitter / ChrisHarrisNFL
Retrieved July 17, 2011 from

Man James Harrison is a GOON!

July 13, 2011 8:08 am via EchofonReplyRetweetFavorite

@ChrisHarrisNFL

Chris Harris

Fox, A. (2011, July 13). James Harrison’s words dull his point.
Retrieved from

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/6765621/nfl-james-harrison-reckless-words-dull-point

Schefter, A. (2010, October 25). James Harrison says he might retire.
Retrieved from

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5706748

Reilly, R. (2010, October 20). Don’t get me to the geek.
Retrieved from

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5706465

Klopman, M. Rashard Mendenhall Reacts To Osama Bin Laden’s Death: ‘What Kind Of Person Celebrates Death?’
Retrieved from

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/03/rashard-mendenhall-osama-bin-laden_n_856926.html

ESPN.com news services. Steelers plays rip new rule.
Retrieved from

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=6586630

Associated Press. Kobe Bryant fined $100,000 for gay slur.
Retrieved from

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=nba&id=6347283

From: s h
To: chasemacri
Date: 6:58 am
Subj: Re: Data Entry Position

Dear Applicant

The Human resources have just reviewed your resume due to the one you posted on www.craisglist.org .You are now scheduled for an interview with the hiring manager of the company.She is Ms Heidi Klum ,you are required to setup a yahoo mail account(mail.yahoo.com) and a yahoo instant messenger (http://messenger.yahoo.com).After this process is done,you are to add up her yahoo id (kheidi61@yahoo.com) to your yahoo buddy list for the interview.add her up now.she is online waiting for you

Regards
Human Resources Dept
Depa Ltd.

I better hurry on that too. I can’t imagine Victoria’s Secret or Seal appreciate my keeping Ms. Klum waiting.

Union Tree Review like to keep things local. By local, I don’t simply mean to the city of St. Louis, but to the very neighborhood they live and play music. Union Tree Review describe themselves as a Cherokee Street band, and they are an ideal candidate to lead the charge of reviving the St. Louis music scene, or rather shine a spotlight on how awesome it is already.

The evidence can be found looking no further than the street they call home. Surrounded by burgeoning arts scene, awesome ethnic food, and tons of people involved in all aspects of local music, one could be content never leaving the block again. This setting is the perfect climate for Union Tree Review’s blend of indie rock and alt country. By adding viola and the occasional horn section to the soothing warmth of singer Tawaine Noah’s voice, their songs shine in the small venues and coffee houses of which their neighborhood is in abundance.

Union Tree Review look to bring elements of the Cherokee community together for their next album. Drummer Matt Strom explains “We’re going to hopefully create an entire album from writing the songs to the people recording, producing and mixing the songs to the people making the album art all within five blocks of each other.”

While Cherokee St. may be tight-knit, Union Tree are tired of the city’s insularity. Noah expounds upon his frustration: “For a while, everyone had their own band and they were wrapped up in that. ‘Oh, you have a band? Well, good luck!’” UTR think St. Louis bands need to be more proactive in promoting shows – and the group practices what they preach. However, guitarist Jordan Howe explains how spreading the word only about yourself isn’t good enough: “You want everyone to work and succeed. If we get a lot of people at our show and Humdrum plays too, maybe more people will come to the next Humdrum show.” It’s this level of cooperation that will elevate not only Union Tree Review, but the entire St. Louis music scene. Isn’t that what “keeping things local” is all about?

Quick Tracks:

“Foreign Eyes”
Simple, sweet but melancholy folk tune with great harmonies, viola and horns that accent the emotion of feeling old at the age of twenty four. One listen, and you can see how it was written after a breakup in winter, while staring out a window over a cup of coffee and shot of whisky.

“Let Me Be”
Song for the over-worked and under-paid, otherwise known as the anthem of the young, post-collegiate city dweller whose frontier is growing up. Slower, low key Ra Ra Riot and Anathallo meet Ryan Adams. This song is itching to be heard live.

You can hear some of Union Tree Review’s music at Myspace and Facebook
They also have a Twitter

That statement has been my life since viewing the first two seasons of the HBO police drama The Wire. Not only do I feel like I know a little something about the seedy underbelly that is the drug world, I also feel I understand a bit of the political divides within law enforcement on multiple levels. This apparent knowledge makes me feel both more hip and “in the know,” as well as suspicious of local businesses on the very street I live on. No joke, one suspected “front” is this pizza shop on the corner of Grand and Wyoming called “St. Louis National Pizza Company.” The place “opened” in, I think, the late winter/early spring but I rarely saw the lights on or anyone inside the place. Shortly after it opened too there was a sign on the front door that said “Cash Only for a few days.” This sign was left displayed for at least three weeks. STL Nat’l ‘Za also have this stock photo looking artwork all around that just feels like it’s supposed to look real. (I’ve yet to walk in and buy a pizza. Maybe that should be the next step in my investigation.) Suspicious? Definitely. But this suspicion is baseless, obviously, because the reality is I really know absolutely nothing about what I think I see.

But this is what the Wire does to you. In an ESPN podcast called the B.S. Report, writer Bill Simmons was talking to another writer by the name of Chuck Klosterman about the first several episodes of the season 6 of LOST. During the discussion somehow the Wire came up, and Klosterman made the point that the Wire “felt real.” It didn’t seem like you were watching TV anymore, but a documentary or at the very least a show that was based on actual events. Before creating of the show David Simon and Ed Burns were immersed in the violent drug world of Baltimore as a police reporter and a homicide detective respectively and set out to write a show loosely based on Burns life, so the show is very realistic. I don’t all the sudden have a policeman’s instincts, but, because of the realism, it feels like I kind of do.

The more I watch the show, and the deeper the show gets, the more I wonder how much the reality of the show’s universe parallels the actual reality of St. Louis and my own life. One of the next shows I plan to watch is Deadwood, will it make me feel as though I understand what it’s like to be a cowboy? To own a saloon? Perhaps. And by perhaps I mean probably not.

Either way, watching the Wire has been great. I can’t praise it highly enough, the show is probably the best drama I’ve ever seen, and I’m continually blown away by how well it is done. It’s irrevocably changed my life and the way I see the world, though I’m not sure if it’s for the better (or worse for that matter.) Again, the wool has been pulled from my eyes, yet what I see I do not understand.

Reasons for liking a band’s earlier work are as diverse as reasons for liking a band at all, but what seems prevalent is this appeal to snobbery: “see, I liked this band first, before any of you people had ever heard of them.” This is especially true of independent bands as mass popularity usually depends on a large event or sudden exposure of some kind like going on tour with Death Cab, or getting signed to Elektra, or having a song on Gossip Girl or Weeds or something.

Whenever a band explodes like that, it is easy for the band to change (maybe likely) or for original fan’s perception of the band to change (definitely likely.) When indie bands have the backing of larger labels, recording budgets get bigger which means the records are more self-indulgent, production is glossier and over-compressed, the packaging is slicker and there is a glut of promotion everywhere which really makes it difficult for fans to suspend disbelief that the dudes in this band are “like me” and understand “my problems” which is really just to say we no longer relate. So, do I care that a band I was friends with in college but now they’ve lived in California for over 3 years is releasing their 4th album, 2nd on a major label, that they recorded in L.A. for 3 and a half months? Not really. Maybe it’s time to move on.

Well, that’s how it normally happens anyway. But it’s not always so cut and dry. Case in point: Harvey Milk. Harvey Milk’s original full-length record, the one that should have been their debut but was lost when the recording engineer disappeared with the master tapes, was finally released in January of this year. What had only been passed around on shitty, re-re-re-redubbed tapes and even worse sounding mp3s the past 15 years has been remastered, and given to us all to compare to the rest of their catalog (you can actually compare the remaster to the original here. The difference it pretty incredible.)

The release of s/t, the long lost Harvey Milk debut, had me scratching my head. How do you listen to a debut that never was? Is this 15 year old album relevant now? Was it then? What do fans think? Do they love it or hate it? Or are they indifferent to it especially since some of the songs have appeared in other forms on most of their later releases? And if they don’t like it, what does that mean for preferring their “old stuff”?

The record itself is eviscerating. It’s like the sound of falling bombs. Vocalist Creston Spiers’ sounds like a man slowly dying, as though gargling his own blood. It’s not the best sounding Milk record, but I think that makes it sound better. After all, Harvey Milk is known their sludge and what sounds better on a sludge record than a few layers of dirt, grime and tape hiss?

So what’s the verdict? Do fans like it, hate it or not care? I think it’s awesome, which puts me in the camp that believes aggressive bands make their best music early in their careers. Those that don’t may prefer their more “polished” efforts like 2007′s Life… The Best Game In Town or are more into their blues/rock than their doom/rock. The indifferent crowd is difficult to understand. I get being accustomed to the later versions of the songs, especially since they reflect Harvey Milk having played through the songs more, tweaking them here and there, and the old versions seem less finished.

I would wonder what both groups think of Harvey Milk’s latest release A Small Turn of Human Kindness. The band has described the record as a return to form: the “Harvey Milkiest record yet.” The slowest, and heaviest album they’ve ever done sounds much like 15 years ago, and I don’t think you can like that one and not like s/t too.

But then again, reasons for and against are as varied as liking the band to begin with. What camp are you?

Further reading:
Decibel interview with Creston Spiers
Invisible Oranges: 1 & 2
StonerRock.com review of s/t
MishkaNYC review of s/t
Self-Titled Mag: Harvey Milk Tears Through Their Discography Hilarious!
ALTSounds article on s/t
The Aquarian
NYTimes Review of Harvey Milk live concert
No Rip Cord

The Swiss Army Romance is a voyeuristic trip through a 20-something’s diary that feels as naked as it is. Thoroughly sparse compared to the over-produced “big” sounding modern alternative rock that commanded the charts at the time; the album is just acoustic guitars and Carrabba’s strained voice. Like his first release, The Drowning EP, Swiss Army recalls deeply personal and painful experiences: homesickness, break-ups, cheating, being cheated on and death and all the songs are found in major keys. Unlike the first EP, as well as the majority of Elliott Smith’s lyrics which almost always turn inward and blame the singer himself for his pain, the lyrics of Swiss Army Romance are directed outward. Those to blame are ex-girlfriends, the weather, the road, his home town and the singer is somehow daftly unaware why these things are happening to him. Perhaps Carrabba has a knack for always picking the wrong girl, or for saying the wrong things, or maybe he really is the most unlucky guy you could ever meet. If taken literally, the lyrics reveal Carrabba to be not only naive but utterly childish in his simplistic thinking. Though aged 25 during the recording of Swiss Army, Carrabba seems much younger, seeing relationships through teenage eyes. The thought occurred to me that maybe Carrabba really is as naive and simple as he appears. Once the dust cleared from that revelation, I immediately thought of another simple and naive doofus: Michael Scott.

Michael Scott is the name of the boss in NBC’s “mockumentary” comedy The Office. He is played brilliantly by Steve Carrell. Throughout the series, Michael Scott is the socially unaware, arrogant jerk who wears his heart on his sleeve and constantly has it broken mostly because he plays the fool, but unintentionally. With his female employees Scott is inappropriate at best and an outright misogynist at worst. He’s racist, homophobic, and the moment any member of the opposite sex shows him any kindness he immediately imagines their future together as a couple: first comes love, then comes marriage and then comes sex but hopefully not in that order.

In the show’s first season, during the episode “The Hot Girl” a solicitor named Katy (played by the beautiful Amy Adams) visits the office in order to sell hand bags. When the receptionist, Pam, initially asks if Katy could set up her items in the conference room Scott interrupts to denounces the idea saying “No no no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction.” After Pam convinces Scott to talk to her, he acquiesces and upon seeing Katy his jaw drops to the floor. Scott immediately breaks company policy because of the woman’s “hotness” and later in the episode, after awkwardly offering to give the woman a ride home after work, he begins to fantasize about maybe stopping for coffee, maybe being asked into her apartment, maybe sex and maybe even love. Though he confesses to a co-worker “it’s too early to tell,” how does offering a stranger, whom you met not even 8 hours earlier, a ride home spark thoughts of love? This is the logic of Michael Scott.

In another episode, (season 2, episode 7 “The Client”) Michael and his boss Jan Levinson were caught kissing in the parking lot after making a huge sale earlier in the episode. Michael, unwillingly at first, confesses the whole ordeal to the camera crew and says “I know we have to register as a consensual sexual relationship with HR. My question, do I do it as the man, does she do it as my superior? I don’t know.” Then Michael lets his imagination fabricate an amazing fictional context for his and Jan’s future that simply doesn’t exist by saying “…that leads to other issues that we may have, in our relationship.” Later Jan calls and accuses Michael of intentionally getting her drunk, or slipping something into her drink in order to get her into bed with him. Michael defends himself and says “This is just a fight. This is just a first fight of many fights we’re gonna have” as though their little tryst was the beginning of a life-long romance. You see the look on Michael’s face change from elation when he picked up Jan’s call to shock, disbelief then embarrassment. Michael frantically attempts to get the camera crew to leave so he can talk to Jan alone and spare himself the public debasement but instead hides underneath his desk, desperately trying to convince Jan that they are in love, they are meant to be together and that she just doesn’t know it yet. All that needs to be done is to recreate the circumstances of the previous night and all will be right with the world.

This kind of blind naivety permeates the lyrics on The Swiss Army Romance. They read like Michael Scott’s private journal. On “Again I Go Unnoticed,” Carrabba shrugs off a lover’s indifference with the quip “maybe you’re just feeling tired ’cause if it’s more than that I feel that I might break.” On the bridge of the song, Carrabba furthers this thought that maybe a night’s sleep will do the trick, that he’ll “wait until tomorrow, maybe you’ll feel better then.” Perhaps the same delusion that Scott convinced himself of, the expectation that all that needs to be had are a few drinks, or a few winks of sleep, will rekindle their supposed passion.

The next episode opens with Michael and every member of the office individually deconstructing a voicemail left by Jan about her coming to town for performance reviews. Michael is convinced that Jan not only doesn’t say what she means, but that each word she does say has a hidden meaning that would confirm his conception that Jan is in love with him. Or at least, as Pam says to Michael during their review of the message, the she has mixed feelings about their relationship, that she “feels conflicted.”

Carrabba too seems to think women speak in mysteries. At another point on the record, Carrabba explains he too is unable to understand female logical. As though, like Jan’s voicemail to Michael Scott, they never say what they mean. “Please send me signals that are anything but mixed cause I can’t read your rolling eyes.” The line of thinking, that there is a secret code within a woman’s words, reminds me very distinctly of junior high and high school. Growing up in the age of the internet and the birth of online journals like LiveJournal, DeadJournal, Xanga & Blogger, I recall scouring journals of the girls I “liked” as well as writing entires myself in order to get them to want me, to need me, “to notice me.” If I composed them just right I hoped beyond hope for a comment from that special someone confirming that she understood my secret language. In one particular entry, from my junior year of high school, after describing how I had been playing phone tag with “a friend” throughout the day I ended the entry with

“So I read their live journal, and im like. aww. oh well. to a certain extent, waiting sucks. like, you want to do something but you cant because its not straight yet. and so you have to wait for it to be straight. and im really being cryptic in the entry. well, they’ll know what im talking about. i just hope i dont have to wait forever…”

assuming no one would know except the one I want to know. Carrabba’s lyrics read like these notes. Secret message meant to be decrypted by those females set in his sights. Even the break-up songs sound like blog updates intended to catch the ear of that special, although probably ill-thought of, someone.

“Screaming Infidelities” depicts Carrabba as a doe-eyed, hopeful cuckold who would rather cry himself to sleep knowing his girlfriend is sleeping around then admit to himself that their relationship is over. In “Saints and Sailors” from The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most, Carrabba wishes to at least have a fight over the phone with his ex-girlfriend because even a bad relationship is better than none at all. This attitude it much like Scott’s taking Jan Levinson back though their relationship made him feel the worst he’s ever felt.

In other songs he portrays an arrogance that accompanies only people who cannot think about anyone but themselves. “Sharp Hint of New Tears” is Michael Scott after he digitally inserts himself into a family Christmas card of his then girlfriend’s in place of her ex-husband. “Why should I apologize for the things that you’ve done wrong?” he asks as though Carol has always been in love with him, even before she knew him.

Carrabba is not entirely without introspection. On the title track, he displays an awareness that completely escapes Michael Scott. Youth is fleeting, and like the teenage romances he chases, they won’t last forever. Eventually they’ll grow up, mature, and become real relationships based on more than looking cool and saying the right things. Eventually we’ll forget our youthful ignorance and naivety and not understand how it was possible to be so dumb. Maybe that’s true of Carrabba too. Maybe he wrote a lot of those songs well before they were recorded, or perhaps they were old emotions that had been kicking around his heart and his head for years, and recording them got them out.

Yeah, I’m reading your note again, Chris, and there’s not a word that I comprehend either.

Next up, how Chris Carrabba is Llyod Dobler becoming Rob Gordon.