its really hard sometimes to have a conversation with someone who you really like but cant do a thing about cause shes got a boyfriend and all this stuff. its like. i dont have any idea what do. i mean, its not like you have her break up with her boyfriend over you, i mean. id at least feel bad about that if that happened if there werent any reasons for them to break up in the first place. Or at least not ones big enough you know. its like its going to a toy store when you’re 5. and all you want to do is play with that big shiny colorful toy in the back corner of the store. but you cant because its just out of your reach. and you jump and yell, and cry to mom to get it for you but she cant offord it. so you leave the store kicking and screaming, and crying. oye. so depressing. i hate the feeling ive got in my stomach. the only way i can describe it is like, you know when you have butterflies in your stomach? well, it’s like that, except its not butterflies, its like having a thousand moths in your stomach. their all fluttering and flying and having a party in you insides but all they do is make you sick, or nauseous. maybe thats a better word. so close yet so far. i mean, i know she feels for me, but we both agreed she shouldnt just break up with her boyfriend over this. oye. its hard. maybe it would be alot easier if she wasnt so attractive to me in many other ways besides physically… and i have to work tonight! ah!