for shame

“God, take me because i hate me”
this is how i feel
how many times do i set myself on fire
for seconds of pleasure
how many years am i throwing away
how much more pain am i causing
to her – to you
why am i trying to be so poetic with you?
do i think it impresses you, God?
don't you see right through it?
what is it that you want from me?
besides real honesty
besides faithfulness
besides true love
besides everything that ive failed to deliver
do you still think you can trust me now?
do you still think i deserve what you've given me?
i dont – i dont think ive once deserved anything
please let her know how horrible i feel
for sympathy
take me now if i ever hurt her again
take me down if i ever hurt her again
i hate me
(i hate you fallen one
im going to take you down
watch your back)
God give me the strength to stand
the first and last time he attempts to
make me fall
i need you
to heal me
to heal my heart
to heal my hands
to make me whole again
and you call me beautiful
when you see my shame
(please let me weep)


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