Preface to Promise

I know this must be in Your plan
but I just don't see it
it's so cold to feel this alone
I know you understand this perfectly
And you can relate to my heart
Don't you know this girl turns my world upside down, inside-out, and shakes it all up?
I feel bad for some of the things I said
Even if they were said with the best intentions
I have the worst modd swings of anyone I know
How I wish at least she could be happy with us
For right now anyways…
…which is selfishness, I know
Love is a giving with no expectation or need of return
Kind of like You when you hung on that terrible cross
How I want that love, the dying kind
I want to give her everything she could ever want
Maybe the reason I'm so discontent with life is because I am not content with you – the source of life
No one compares to You
I could never find the happiness I would have in You anywhere else, in anyone else
I've said these words before
But that's all they've been – words
Please shut my mouth everytime I say something that I do not intend to do
Let those words taste so disgusting to me
Make me taste disgusting to me
All I want is to be sincere
Honest
And open with You
Help me to be that man of integrity
The man that You want me to be
And in the process help Jess and I
To be the couple you want us to be
Growing closer to You and each other
I just want what you want, God
Show me what that is

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