I remember a time that I knew my name. I knew who I was, and what my purpose was. But I can't recollect a thing about that time except for you. You've always been there for me, but I still reject you. I have spat in your face and cursed your name in your presence. I deserve to die, and if you took me in my sleep maybe it would be for the better. I'm tired of who I've become. I'm sick of doing the opposite of what I say I do. Please don't leave me. I won't know what to do, or how to feel. Except this emptiness inside. I hate this emptiness. I hate it. If only it were as easy as sticking a knife into myself and cutting it out like a cancer. Maybe after 5 years of momentum it takes 10 months to stop. God deal with me accordingly, and to your will. Please make me what you want me to be. Please give me the meaning of my name, and let me not cause pain to anyone anymore. Because right now I hate it so much.