God please let me be honest and don't let me say things I've already said before.
Take away all the masks and all the things that I've chosen to believe about myself that are false.
I don't feel the same anymore.
I don't think I'm the same person that I was 2, 3 or 5 years ago.
I don't think I can be loved like I used to.
I don't think someone can love me with their whole heart when all I do is hurt them.
And I hurt myself.
Am I not loving her with my whole heart?
I'm not loving her with my whole heart.
I'm not loving you with my whole heart.
I'm not loving anyone or pursuing anything with my whole heart.
God, please make my heart whole again so I can do any or maybe all of those things one hundred percent.
It's not fair to her otherwise.
God, I'm taking a break from the thing that makes me stumble.
I need to purge the system. I need to cleanse my temple.
I need a fire starter.
Give me the strength I need this week to resist it.
Give me a clue how to love a woman; how to love my woman.
To love her with my whole heart.
To love you.
I need to truly seek you and your will and desire to please you.
God, I surrender all these faults, all this mixed and messed up conceptions of myself and just lay myself bare before you to take over again.
Thank you for the healing and for promising to meet with me if I seek you.
This will be a constant battle.
(Give me new meaning to all the symbols I have.)
Help me to work on how selfish I am.
Help me to be concerned with things that are so much more important.
Help me sleep tonight, and feel revived tomorrow.
Like a new man in you, Jesus.
I want to be like you, Jesus.
You are everything


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