Wouldn’t It Be Nice…

“we've been friends a long time now haven't we?”
“yeah, what's wrong?”
“ive been thinking about the unlikelihood of finding that one 'love' again.”
“forget about all that” she said
“isn't it all in the past?”
“yeah, but i can't stop thinking about it.” i responded.
“why?”
“because everywhere i go it's a constant reminder. my dashboard, the books, some of my clothes, music… i mean, i don't think there's anything that doesn't remind me of it.”
“do you try to think of something else?”
“yes, i've tried all sorts of things. getting rid of and replacing what reminds me of it, noticing nature or thinking about other beautiful things, humming, even carrying on conversations with myself to distract my mind from it. but it only ever works temporarily. its suffocating sometimes.”
“is it really that bad?”
“well, maybe im exaggerating a bit. its more of a small nagging in the back of my mind and there are many instances where i won't think about it for hours at a time but i haven't had very many days withall the thought.”
“you know there's someone out there for you. you just have to be patient.”
“im sure there is, and im sure God knows what he's doing but in the meantime there's still the thought. no matter how much i understand the whole “trust God” thing, and I'm not downplaying that, I am trusting him wholeheartedly, i just can't shake the lack of emotional intimacy i desire so much right now. do you know what i mean?”
“yeah.”
“ive never really believed in the one person for everyone deal. but at the same time i know God has my desires at his heart, he will be doing things on my behalf that are in my best interests. so whoever he brings to me will be perfect. but right now i dont see it, it seems so unlikely that this proverbial one exists.”
“…”
“its been so long since someone has noticably “liked” me im not even sure how i'd respond to it. but i would like to know i illicit interest to some woman.”
“…”
“what are you thinking?”
“i don't mean to be forward, but ive been so into you since the day i met you.”

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