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God, if we're both in the business of honesty let me just come right out with it
Am I leading myself on?
Am I putting too much too soon into something not well enough known?
Considering particularly how we've never had this interaction in person
Would things be incredibly different?
I can only imagine it would
It leads me to believe perhaps I am hoping a bit too much
But so far things have been slow
They haven't be overly flirty, or emotional
Or clingly, or too much, or too long…
Just enough
But God, if we're both in tbe business that means you have to be honest with me
If this is wrong let me know!
If this is a wasting of time let me know,
If this is a chasing after the wind I don't want anything to do with it
I want what you want for me
Help me to see it clearly
Help me to be honest with you so you can be honest with me
Help me to come to you without the misconceptions I carry so I can see you without the glasses the disciples were wearing
That I would be like one whose faith you have not found in Israel
There are so many things here I want but I don't want anything that isn't what you have for me
Help me to be what I write about
Help me to be what I idealize
Help me to not say I wish but thank you

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