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I hate this
There's few things worse than finding someone who meets all the “requirements”
The “very high standards” only to be held back by something so superficial
Something that other people disagree upon
“But dude, she's gorgeous”
“I think she's very cute”
Why the hell don't I?
I'm nervous, but not for the typical
Not for the intimidation
She's so much of what I want
So why am I still so shallow?
I hate this
I don't want to be like this
But I don't want to ignore my feelings either
In the meantime
I don't know how to respond because I odn't want to lead on
Especially if I reconsider
Especially if it turns out otherwise
Especially if I stay shallow (but I don't want to)
I want the entire package of emotion
I want the intellectual and the spiritual
But I also want the interpersonal and the physical
The enthralled
I think it's stupid, but it's not
And I can't avoid it
And I don't know how she feels
I can't tell and I know I'll harrange myself with the details
The back and forth
The dreaded back and forth

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