I’m sitting at the front door of inevitability
I feel like each move to the left or the right has been predetermined, or at least my attempting surging is of none effect
I cannot move; I am entirely dependent
“See” she says but I cannot
“Be content or at least not so down & out” she whispers
But sometimes I simply want to complain about my troubles
“Can’t I just complain?” I reply but its dry and completely empty
Like the memory of what once was; so close, yet so far gone
So far removed from my eyes that I don’t remember the colors as vividly and God knows accurately because what is memory anyway if it can truly be trusted as truth be it relative or otherwise
So dry and completely empty
“You knew it was going to be this way”
But I didn’t suspend hope
I didn’t give up the notion that maybe things would be different, better I mean
I don’t like dependency
“If there’s nothing you can do about it, why get so upset?”
Point well said, hopefully taken as half as well
It would be easier if I wasn’t able to see other around me
Without a degree, like it’s some sort guarantee for the money
Because more of that would make all things right wouldn’t it?
It’s faithful, why shouldn’t I place my trust in it?
I mean, only a little of it would get me out of the hole I’m in currently
But it’s fleeting, and unfulfilling if solely sought as if it is that which is & was and will be
And power outage or not are you so vain to think that you deserve something more?
For who are you but a single tick of a clock in a clockshop filled to the threshold
Oh, for humility, patience and the ability to trust that my hopes and dreams will one day be more than only that
Yet, godspeed

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